11-17-10

Today was a horror day for me since report card was destined to come today. I only wished my Asian parents would understand my interests and not force me to do things I have no interest in. For example, my parents wanted me to become a lawyer so I can give them plenty of money when they get old. They tell me that being rich and famous is part of enjoying life. As I listened throughout my whole life, I have come to realize that the people out at the night market are more happy with their jobs than a lawyer. Since the people at the night market are doing something they like, they are happy, not for the money, but for their interests. Most Asian parents don't understand this because they grew up in an Asian society where everything is about math, science, history, and literature. They never consider sports or cooking. I have seen popular chefs at a restaurant doing something they like and get plenty of money. I, personally, hate being a lawyer because I don't like literature nor anything with the government. I find that money is not all the case, doing a job you like and getting enough money to make a living is the best solution. But many of the Asian parents believe that kids are naive with what they do and say, so they don't listen to reality and just stay with what they believe in. Another thing that makes me mad about my parents are that they are selfish in many ways, especially my mother. She never talked about getting me a happy life, but ,instead, always talking about money and herself. This might sound like a kid talking about hatred of their parents, but I am mature enough to say that. I do know that my mom loves me, but she is using me in some cases. And I can tell from that because she always talks about my future money and her. I always ask her, "Mom, what about my interest?", she would reply, "Wouldn't giving your parents money and getting plenty of money for yourself make you happy?". This was where I started to think about my future. Not long ago I just found out that my mom is a divorced parent. I have a bigger brother and a bigger sister that I knew my whole life but didn't know that we have different fathers. My family members told me in secret that my mom left his first husband because he failed a business. This made me really my, because true love can't be crashed by money or greed. Finding that my mom only searches for money, my dad and I began to wonder if she really loves my dad at all. This frustrates me, and every single day, my anger grows a little bit more. Although she can be nice sometimes, she is somewhat a devil inside. But, hey, I'm an Asian and what can I say, but only to say that my life will be a disaster if my parents don't start noticing that of my interests.